This blog post may come across as jumbled, and for that I apologies. I feel like this past week has been full of a lot of pieces of a huge puzzle! I know inevitably after I publish this post I will think of the one story I KNOW I should have added. But hopefully that is ok J
The first thing I want to start with is a huge prayer request! Orphanage Emmanuel is a non-profit organization and each month there is a large crate delivered that is FULL of food and donations. It is a wonderful system and a huge gift of love sent from different people in America. Well, currently there are two crates that are being held at the port in Honduras. One of the staff members explained that there used to be someone at the port who was sympathetic to the orphanage and made sure that the donations always cleared quickly, but that person no longer works there and people who work for the port have begun stealing items out of the crates and purposely holding the crates and asking for more money to clear the crates. The crate that has set there the longest now has food that is past the expiration date, which creates another problem and the government is requiring that when the crate is released that that food is automatically burned. It is discouraging to see corrupt people take advantage of their power, because ultimately is it the children who are missing out. Please pray that these individuals will have a change in heart, and that the two crates will be released quickly!
On a more positive note, there are many things that I love about being in Honduras. One is the sense of community that I have gotten to be a part of within the volunteer group here. It is wonderful, and I feel like in America when we all have everything we could ever need it is easy to miss out on a sense of community. Within the volunteers, many times we will have all done our grocery shopping only to realize that we forgot eggs or something but then we will all trade food with each other and help each other out so that everyone can make whatever it is that they were wanting to eat. Tonight we also all met up after we got off and worshiped together, which was a great way to end the night! I realized today that I have had the privilege of, in a way, seeing 1 Timothy 5 lived out that talks about treating the different age groups as family members. It is crazy that after a month of taking care of the babies here I find myself worrying about every bump, bruise, and rash all the 12 different babies have. I have also never had a sister, but at times here I feel like I have 70 younger sisters who I want to help and protect so they do not make the same mistakes I did when I was there age. Speaking of bumps and bruises though: yesterday in the baby room I was sitting in a rocking chair rocking two babies and watching baby Maria on the other side of the room, rocking on a toy lion. As I was watching her I realized that she was getting too much momentum and not paying attention to what she was doing. The rock directly after this realization was the one that was too hard, and the momentum caused her to fall forward and she was unable to catch herself. It happened in slow motion, and I didn’t realize I had begun screaming until she was on the ground and I was picking her up. It was so horrible to watch, but thankfully in the end all she had was a bruise under her chin L When I was walking home after my shift that afternoon I realized that God probably feels the same way when we watches us play as close to the lines as we can, knowing that ultimately we WILL get hurt. I know He wants to reach down and catch us before we fall, but unfortunately some times he just has to wait for us to hit rock bottom with a few bruises before we are willing to cry out for Him to come pick us up off the ground. Being at Orphanage Emmanuel has given me the opportunity to worship with a lot of people that I would not have otherwise had the opportunity to worship with. Each week a new team comes in, and this past week the team that was here invited the volunteers to come to their devo one night. During the worship time of their devo, the song leader introduced us to a song he had written. One phrase of the song really stuck with me. It said “smash me and break me and make me to something you can use.” This line got me thinking back to all the times I had complained to God while I was in the process of being smashed. I wish I could look back and say that I had a heart that was willing to be molded, but unfortunately the opposite is true. A few nights later at church the preacher told the story in Isaiah where Isaiah goes to the Potters House and God reveals to him how the Potter has the right to change the pot into whatever shape He sees fit. I have been praying to have a change of heart and a willingness to be molded into the person Christ needs me to be.
“He must become greater. I must become less.” –John 3:30
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