My God Is The God Who Provides

Leaving is going to be hard. This is a huge understatement. I knew
from the first few days in June, while working with the babies, that October 1^st
was going to be a challenging. I HAVE to believe that God is the God who
provides. He will provide people to hold, feed, and love the beautiful babies who
I have fallen in love with these past four months. He will provide people to be
patient with Pedro, Eder, and Jared as they continue to enter their terrible
twos and throw fits on our walks. He will provide people to kiss Omar’s knees
because he is clumsy and falls at least three times a day. He will provide
someone to teach Chelsey how to walk, because she is SO close to walking! He
will provide someone to help David fall asleep, because he is incapable of
falling asleep on his own and needs someone to help him relax so he can sleep.
He will provide someone to hold Cindy’s hands so she can practice walking, take
her out of the Sala when she gets overwhelmed, and fix her bottles with special
milk because her stomach cannot handle real milk. He will provide someone to
hug Genesis every morning and fix her ponytail because her hair is SUCH a mess
when she wakes up! He will provide someone to keep Jose awake in the morning so
he is able to sleep in the afternoon. He will provide Fernando with someone who
can see past his charming smile to his mischievous eyes- someone who will attempt to
stay one step ahead of him and keep him out of trouble. He will provide someone
for Maria who will sing to her and rock her, because she LOVES being sung to
while being held.  

I heard a Mercy Me song for the first time a few weeks ago and
fell in love with the chorus. It is simple, but I really like it:

“You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful”

I honestly pray that there is always someone here at Emmanuel to remind the babies that they are TREAURED, SACRED, and HIS. I guess the only way I am going to be able to tuck the babies into bed tomorrow night and say goodbye is to believe 100% that my GOD is the GOD who PROVIDES.

Your Light Will Shine When All Else Fades

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

These verses have been two verses that I have found myself focusing on during the last couple weeks here at Orphanage Emmanuel. It amazes me that God has prepared good works for us all to do (whether it is ministering to children, helping the elderly, taking care of the sick, ect.) , and once He begins a good work in us we can be CONFIDENT that he will carry it out until it is completed!

This week has been very different from any other of my weeks here at Emmanuel. One of the teenagers had her baby last week, and since then I have been spending all my nights at the clinic helping her and her newborn, as well as helping give medication and take temperatures of the other children who are sick in the second room. After talking with the director, we both agreed that consistency would be best for the new mom, so that is why I have been working all the nights instead of rotating through the volunteers.  It has been good to get to know her better and meet new baby Jefferson! He is so adorable and honestly a great baby! He is already sleeping multiple hours at a time throughout the night and he is only eight days old! It is also great to see the amount of love and affection she constantly gives him! I am very proud of such a young mom taking on a huge responsibility and rising to the challenge! Working in the clinic this week I have seen everything from recovering from surgery, concussions, infections, and open wounds. It has been hard to get up every couple hours (or less) throughout the night multiple nights in a row, but once I get off in the morning after I hand out the medication I have been able to go back to the house and catch up on my sleep for a little bit!

New volunteers have gotten here!! I love when the house is full of people! We have had five Danish girls arrive, one American, and one Canadian all in the past week! Having the new volunteers is wonderful.  Shifts are being filled at the Sala and the Clinic a lot easier than they were a week ago.

The babies are as cute as ever! I have been missing them in the mornings, but I know I have to get some sleep if I want to be able to be any help once I get there! One of their new phrases that they have been saying lately is “nohay?” which is two words (no hay) that the blend into one when asking if there is any more of anything.  It’s cute J This past Sunday we got to celebrate David Isac’s first Birthday! We had a vanilla cake with vanilla frosting and sang to him! Anna had dressed him in the cutest button down shirt, tie, and vest for his birthday! This morning one of the other volunteers saw David take his first steps! They are all growing up so quick!

The past few months- while painting, sewing, cleaning, and working on other various house projects (and during clinic shifts at night) - I have been watching Friends Seasons 1-6 that another volunteer loaned me. I had never watched the show before this summer but have had a lot of fun catching up on what I have been missing! When I get home I will be ready to find out how all the seasons end! Any one up for a Friends Marathon? J I honestly can’t believe I will be home in less than 10 days! My four months here have gone by really fast! When I get home I have faith that God will have good works prepared for me to do in Arizona J

We Will Choose To Be A Blessing For Life

Today is my 100^th day in Honduras J God has been so good. I continue to do mostly the same things here: medication for both the boys and girls, working with the babies, random jobs (such as painting and making curtains), and clinic shifts. The painting and curtains in the house are finally completed! The babies continue to grow so much!! The older ones are talking a lot more and they are beginning to understand more and more each day. Today I was folding laundry and one of the girls came up to me while I was folding her shirt and said “ropa” (cloths). I was proud of her for being able to #1 pick out which were her cloths and #2 knowing the word for cloths. This might not seem like a big deal, but trust me it is J I looked across the room today in time to see Maria just walking around all by herself! Normally it is clear that she is going from point A (crib) to point B (table, chair, me) but this time she was just walking. It was so cute! Some of the boys have hit the “terrible twos” a few months early, which has helped me better understand Proverbs 3:12 “The LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” I really do love these babies so much, but I know that because I love them they can’t go around hitting each other or biting or pushing without anyone teaching them better. It is challenging at times to know what is best to do, but I am sure everyone who has worked with two year olds feels that way at times.

Last week I spent a day in Tegucigalpa purchasing an extra month on my passport. We left Emmanuel at 6 AM and did not get back until 8 PM. Imagine the DMV sceario, but worse. Naively I thought we were making good time when we were an hour into the whole process and were only missing one signature. Five hours, two bags of chips, and two sodas later we were still missing that same signature. Lourdis, a girl who works at the orphanage, was with me and we decided it was best to walk to the Pharmacy and pick up the medication we were told to purchase while in Tegucigalpa and come back to get my passport. We spent a little over an hour getting medication, and thankfully once we got back my passport was ready to be picked up! After getting my passport we went to the bus station to get a bus back to Guaimaca. Riding the bus was an experience all of its own. At the station I noticed that every seat was going to be full but as we are driving to Guaimaca, we continue to stop and pick people up who are now standing in the isle of the bus between the already full seats. There was literally no extra room on this bus! Once we got to Guaimaca, Lourdis and I got off the bus and went to get a Taxi. Once we start asking around, someone tells us that Taxis stopped running an hour ago. I begin to get nervous. Even though it is only 7:30 PM in Honduras, which translates to about 2 AM in the States, it is late to be out in the town. I called one of the Staff here to ask what we should do, and he was there within five minutes to pick us up.  I was so thankful to be back at Emmanuel!

AMY AND JM GOT HERE!!! They came in last Wednesday and left Emmanuel this morning! It was so great getting to spend time with them! Wednesday night Marie and Larz (an awesome Danish couple here) invited us over to play games and hang out! It was a lot of fun. Thursday we walking into town and grocery shopped. Amy and Jm were a huge help with the babies and in the clinic! Amy also brought some of the cutest baby cloths ever that were bought for the babies here! They looked so adorable in the bright new cloths! While working in the clinic, I am sure Amy and JM caught up on watching the classic Disney VHS tapes while they were here. It was fun getting to cook and eat meals with them while they were here! We also played a lot of Rummikub and Banagrams in the evenings! It was so so great to see familiar faces from home J They also brought some awesome snacks that my family sent me! Trail Mix, Brownies, and Cliff Bars never tasted so good! I now know that if I want to appreciate a food, I just won’t eat it for three months! On another note I just finished reading one of the best action books I have ever read. It is called The Hunger Games and I highly recommend it! I could not put it down at times!

Throughout the past 100 days God has really reminded me how faithful He is! He has proven so many of his promises to be true! He has given me rest when I needed it (Matthew 6), made my life better because of His goodness (James 1:17), and held my hand the whole time I have been here in Honduras (Isaiah 41:13). God continues to bless me more than I ever could ask for. 

Better is ONE Day in Your Courts Than THOUSANDS Elsewhere

Tonight I am spending the night at the clinic with a funny little boy named Tony. About ten days ago Tony was playing on the trampoline with his friends and somehow managed to be stepped on at the bottom of a pile of rough boys. At the exact moment he was trapped, another child tried to help him up. This resulted in the near loss of his ear! He was rushed to the doctor’s office and received stitches on the inside and outside of his ear. Now that his pain is being managed with medication, as most five year olds do, he has more energy than he knows what to do with. When I got to the clinic tonight I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie. He told me he did and when I asked him what type, he responded “a funny one.” We looked at the movies and he instantly started chanting Winnie La Pooh. I am not sure when Winnie the Pooh became a comedy, but I decided not to question his movie preferences.

During nap time today in the baby room I realized that there are five solid truths that apply basically to any time I am working with the toddlers.

1.      1. Saying “No” to a toddler will always be traumatic- both for the toddler and also for the adult who is about to have to listen to the fit that will be thrown.

2.      2. Clipping finger nails and toe nails of the toddlers will always make me nervous. So far all babies still have ten fingers and ten toes, but I still have 6 weeks here J

3.     3.  Strollers built to hold two babies are actually capable of holding five.

4.     4.  Second to Sundays, nap times are sacred. Thou shalt not forsake thy naptime.

5.      5. If you think you are tired, drink a second cup of coffee.

(With only some slight altering- some of these truths can also apply to the teenage girls J Just kidding..kinda)

I still am really enjoying the time I get to spend with the babies! While here, I have gotten the privilege of working in the baby room with Brandy, Anna, and Marie. Yesterday was Marie’s little girls Birthday! We had so much fun celebrating it with the kids! They brought a Clifford Piñata, party hats, balloons, candy, and a cake! The babies loved the cake so much! They all try so hard to be independent, and ended up with frosting all over their faces (and hands, arms, and legs) J After the party we decided it would just be easier to bath them than to try to use hand wipes to get all the cake off!

Unfortunately about half of the babies have been sick within the past two weeks. Five of them have been running fevers. L It makes me feel so helpless when they are in between doses of medication, still running a fever, and angry because we are giving them cold baths. Please pray that their fevers will break completely!

I am still giving out medication. It has been great getting to know the kids who receive medication more and more each day. One of the special needs teenagers named Kika handed me a note about a week back. Trying not to look too eager to see what the note said, I put it in my pocket and told him I would read it when I got home. Once I got home, I opened it and instantly realized that it was written in a girl’s handwriting and contained the daily drama that any teenage girl would inform her friend about in passing. I think Kika had “mistakenly” come across this note, and then decided I was the right person to receive it.

I have decided it is time for me to retire my dark green TOMS. I have had them for close to two years (which makes them about 100 years old in TOMS shoes years). They were my first pair of TOMS to get, so I have been reluctant to retire them- although they have a hole in the top of one shoe and the back of the other is fraying. There have been two instances that (1) made me laugh and (2) made this decision to retire them final. Two weeks ago one of the staff members invited me over to her house. We were talking and giving each other a hard time when she looked at my shoes and started laughing. She then says, “Daysha do you need new shoes? I can get you a pair if you need them…” We both laughed, and I told her I was fine. Tonight while walking to church I was talking with one of the teen girls. Her flip flop had just broken, and I asked her if she had another pair of flip flops. She told me she didn’t (but I am pretty sure she actually does) and without looking begins to say, “That is why tomorrow you should give me…” and then glances down at my TOMS and stops mid sentence. I just started laughing again and said, “Jokes on you! You don’t want my shoes!” After this second instance though I now know my TOMS will not be returning to Arizona with me, which is sad- but apparently long over due J

Yesterday the power was off for the second half of the day, and today the water was off throughout the whole orphanage. Hopefully both these quarks will be worked out tomorrow- but if not, we will all be ok J I finished reading Redeeming Love this week. I read this book a few years ago and loved it, so I was happy to see it on the community shelf here! It is a great story and I recommend reading it. I also still enjoy getting to read my notes each week J The notes are always encouraging and exactly what I am needing to hear. Thank you again to everyone who sent one for me to read this summer! As of today, I am the only volunteer here. It has been sad watching new roommates and friends leave this summer, but I know God has amazing plans for them back home! I am counting down the days until Amy and JM get here! If there is anyone else who has extra time, loves hanging out with awesome children, doesn’t like sleeping, drinks way too much coffee, and wants a life changing experience- come to Orphanage Emmanuel! I am sure you will love it J

Love Came To Show Us The Way

So there I was, delivering medication riding down a hill to get to my second house of the day when I realized that I was not 100% sure if I should use the right handle break or the left handle break. Perfect… I had been the proud owner of a bike for less than 24 hours and I was not about to crash in front of the high school boys house. One of my only scars from childhood came from a bike accident at a young age when I used the front wheel break instead of the back wheel break and flipped over the bike. I decided against trying to guess the correct break, and decided to do what seemed like the only option that I had left which was to begin yelling “Permisso” (excuse me) as loud as I could and hope that innocent bystanders moved out of my way quick enough and that the bike would eventually slow down in speed. Thankfully there were no casualties in my first experience riding my bike in Honduras. Now two weeks later, I am a lot more confident in my bike riding (and breaking) abilities and it has been a blessing to be able to use while distributing medication. I really enjoying distributing medication, and love getting to see a lot of the kids multiple times a day.

The babies, as always, are really cute. It always shocks me how much personality can be in such little people! Tonight I watched Baby Einstein with the infants and it was one of the most entertaining half hours of my summer. I had seen Baby Einstein before, but this time instead of watching the movie, I watched the kids. The babies were hilarious! They all knew when the different puppets were coming up, danced with the little songs, mimicked the animal noises, and clapped at the end of the short sections. It was so cute! I don’t know why short clips of toys, puppets, and music transfix babies, but I am really glad it does J

One project that has been consuming 80% of my past three days has been a HUGE painting project! The end goal is for the entire Volunteer House to be repainted. As of tonight, we have completely finished three of the five bedrooms. Our work for us is still cut out for us with painting the remaining bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, living room, and laundry room- but hopefully we will be able to make more progress this week! I am really proud of how the three bedrooms have turned out and am ready to finish up the painting and retire my new found skill J

It has been a while since I posted last, but last week I finished reading a great book titled Safely Home by Randy Alcorn. It is a fictional story about the factual topic of Christian persecution in China. It was loaned to me by a staff member here and it has been one of my favorite books I have read this summer. My favorite quote from this book comes from the end of the book when the author is describing a hypothetical conversation that the main character of this story is having with God.  It states, “When you longed for a great house in this world,” the King said, “you were longing for my house. You just didn’t know it. My children there never dream too big, you know. They dream too small, they set their sights too low. They choose to play in the mud on a cold rainy day when I offer them open green meadows in the sun, clear flowing streams, majestic mountains, and endless beaches and blue skies that stretch to the stars themselves, stars that are gateways to innumerable worlds beyond. The sons of Adam try so hard to be satisfied with so little- which keeps them from ever being satisfied at all.” When I read this paragraph in the book the first time I had to stop and reread it again. It made me wonder how many times I have been content “sitting in the mud on a cold rainy day” when God has always been offering much more that I can ever imagine! God is so good and I am so thankful for the time I have been able to spend here.

Losing Control Of My Destiny

It has been a great two months! Although there never seems to be enough hours in the day, the days are always great. This week I have been shadowing Carol while she is giving out the medication to the boys. Monday will be the first day that I will be giving medication to both the boys and girls at Orphanage Emmanuel and as always, prayers are appreciated J There is talk about me getting to borrow a bike for the medication rounds (twice a day) and not only would this be fun but it would also save time!! Hopefully it all works out, and you know I will be posting pictures of my new wheels if it does J  I have also started spending some time in the Office during the afternoon helping pass out presents that the children receive from their sponsors and helping translating letters from English to Spanish or vice versa. Honestly I was hesitant when I was asked to begin helping in the office, but this opportunity has really given me the chance to spend some time with a few of the kids one on one which is always nice. The babies are as cute as always! They learn so fast! One of my favorite things they have been doing lately is to come up to me and say “sientente” (sit down)  and hop on my lap or squeeze on the chair with me. It is so cute! Two nights this week Madison, Ashlea, and I had a pajama party with the teens and watched A Walk to Remember. It is such a sweet movie, and instantly reminded me of the countless times I watched it in Junior High! It was fun to hang out with the teens in their houses where we could just laugh and relax some at the end of the day!

Earlier this week another volunteer and I took six babies to the park. We do this about five times a week and the kids always seem to have fun! When we got to the park we ate snack and played on the swings. Two of the little boys, Pedro and Eder, decided to wonder towards the monkey bars a little ways away. One of the boys, Pedro, began climbing the ladder so I helped them get to the top of the monkey bars. I held onto him to make sure he didn’t fall and we began to try to complete the monkey bars. He got to one bar and held on so tight that he refused to let go to move onto the next bar. After a while I told him, “Baby you have to let go” to prompt him in moving forward. And then it hit me. ..  I can be so stubborn. In the same way that Pedro refused to move forward on the monkey bars, I can choose to hold onto past regrets,  anxiety, or mistakes and not move forward when the whole time God is right there holding me saying, “Baby you have to let go.” Not only is God the One who cares enough to hold me during these time, but He is the one who MADE the monkey bars and can see the next bar that is just in front of me if I would let go and TRUST Him. God is so good and He has a plan for my life: to give me a HOPE and a FUTURE (Jeremiah 29:11). And His ways are HIGHER than my ways ever will be (Isaiah 55:9). There is also a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3) and I am looking forward to the new times of my life. I really am blessed. 

Lord Empty Me Of Me So I Can Be Filled With You

The days seem to be going by quicker each week!  I still LOVE working with the babies! They have all grown so much in the past  seven weeks!! One of the little girls took her first steps yesterday! I was so proud! Others are talking more and more each day! The teens, some days, can be challenging but are also so fun to work with! I see changes in them as well. One of the girls who started off having an attitude with me, beat me to the kitchen this afternoon so that she could fill up all the water glasses before I got there.  It is always great to see these changes within the teens! I have started a new job at the Orphanage I have begun distributing medication to the girls twice a day. It has been great to go to the other houses and get to meet the younger girls who live there.

One wall in the volunteer house is now claimed as “The Encouraging Wall of Hondo” J One night during devotional the volunteers were talking about being encouragers, and the idea came up to make envelopes with our names on them to put on a wall so we can send each other little encouraging notes throughout the day. It really is crazy how a simple note of appreciation can make daily chores so much easier to complete!  It really has been a blessing to get to meet these awesome people that I am volunteering with!

Last Sunday a man from the team shared a story of an event that had happened on a previous visit to Orphanage Emmanuel. He said that one day he was working in the Warehouse, and a poor Honduran man drove up in an old beaten down truck. As the man got out of the car Poppie explained that they were going to fill up this man’s truck with as much rice and beans as would fit. The man telling the story explained that while he was loading the truck he began to become annoyed that they were giving so much food away, because he sends items to the Orphanage and helps pack the containers that his church sends.  He said that once the truck was as full as it could possibly get, the Honduran man thanked Poppie and went on his way. Poppie then turned to the man helping give out the food and asked him if he wanted to know the secret to always having a full Warehouse at Orphanage Emmanuel. The man stated that he did, and Poppie told him the secret to having a full Warehouse was to always give everything away.

As I thought about this story later during the week I realized in a way Poppie could have also been asking the question “Do you want to know the secret to having a full life?” I feel like the answer to this question would be along the same lines as the "Warehouse Theory". Give. Give all you have: your time, energy, money, words of encouragement,  and anything else you are able to and let  God be faithful to fill you up! 1 Peter 4:10 states “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.  If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever.”  

If His Grace Is An Ocean, We're All Sinking

This blog post may come across as jumbled, and for that I apologies. I feel like this past week has been full of a lot of pieces of a huge puzzle! I know inevitably after I publish this post I will think of the one story I KNOW I should have added. But hopefully that is ok J

The first thing I want to start with is a huge prayer request! Orphanage Emmanuel is a non-profit organization and each month there is a large crate delivered that is FULL of food and donations. It is a wonderful system and a huge gift of love sent from different people in America. Well, currently there are two crates that are being held at the port in Honduras. One of the staff members explained that there used to be someone at the port who was sympathetic to the orphanage and made sure that the donations always cleared quickly, but that person no longer works there and people who work for the port have begun stealing items out of the crates and purposely holding the crates and asking for more money to clear the crates. The crate that has set there the longest now has food that is past the expiration date, which creates another problem and the government is requiring that when the crate is released that that food is automatically burned. It is discouraging to see corrupt people take advantage of their power, because ultimately is it the children who are missing out. Please pray that these individuals will have a change in heart, and that the two crates will be released quickly!

On a more positive note, there are many things that I love about being in Honduras. One is the sense of community that I have gotten to be a part of within the volunteer group here. It is wonderful, and I feel like in America when we all have everything we could ever need it is easy to miss out on a sense of community. Within the volunteers, many times we will have all done our grocery shopping only to realize that we forgot eggs or something but then we will all trade food with each other and help each other out so that everyone can make whatever it is that they were wanting to eat. Tonight we also all met up after we got off and worshiped together, which was a great way to end the night! I realized today that I have had the privilege of, in a way, seeing 1 Timothy 5 lived out that talks about treating the different age groups as family members. It is crazy that after a month of taking care of the babies here I find myself worrying about every bump, bruise, and rash all the 12 different babies have.  I have also never had a sister, but at times here I feel like I have 70 younger sisters who I want to help and protect so they do not make the same mistakes I did when I was there age.  Speaking of bumps and bruises though: yesterday in the baby room I was sitting in a rocking chair rocking two babies and watching baby Maria on the other side of the room, rocking on a toy lion. As I was watching her I realized that she was getting too much momentum and not paying attention to what she was doing. The rock directly after this realization was the one that was too hard, and the momentum caused her to fall forward and she was unable to catch herself.  It happened in slow motion, and I didn’t realize I had begun screaming until she was on the ground and I was picking her up. It was so horrible to watch, but thankfully in the end all she had was a bruise under her chin L When I was walking home after my shift that afternoon I realized that God probably feels the same way when we watches us play as close to the lines as we can, knowing that ultimately we WILL get hurt. I know He wants to reach down and catch us before we fall, but unfortunately some times he just has to wait for us to hit rock bottom with a few bruises before we are willing to cry out for Him to come pick us up off the ground. Being at Orphanage Emmanuel has given me the opportunity to worship with a lot of people that I would not have otherwise had the opportunity to worship with. Each week a new team comes in, and this past week the team that was here invited the volunteers to come to their devo one night.  During the worship time of their devo, the song leader introduced us to a song he had written. One phrase of the song really stuck with me. It said “smash me and break me and make me to something you can use.” This line got me thinking back to all the times I had complained to God while I was in the process of being smashed. I wish I could look back and say that I had a heart that was willing to be molded, but unfortunately the opposite is true.  A few nights later at church the preacher told the story in Isaiah where Isaiah goes to the Potters House and God reveals to him how the Potter has the right to change the pot into whatever shape He sees fit. I have been praying to have a change of heart and a willingness to be molded into the person Christ needs me to be.

“He must become greater. I must become less.” –John 3:30

To Humbly Be Still

Honduras is humbling. There is a teenage boy here who is amazing and brilliant. He is fluent in Spanish, English, is learning French, and now is successfully writing in Braille. As I was leaving the orphanage yesterday another one of the volunteers, we stopped by to let the director know that a group of us were going to buy groceries. While the other volunteer was inside talking, I sat down with another volunteer at the picnic table where she was helping a boy write a letter to his sponsor. As I began talking with them, I was privileged to learn his story. Last December this boy began having problems with his vision, and since then has been increasingly losing his ability to see. A few weeks ago another volunteer taught him the Braille alphabet and how to use a Braille typewriter so he was writing a letter to explain his situation to his sponsor in America. He was able to translate his thoughts from Spanish to English and then from English to the Braille letters. One sentence that really amazed me that he wrote in Braille was “I know God has a plan for my life.” Wow. Here is a young man who is losing his ability to see, but still chooses to fix his eyes on Jesus. I would like to believe that I would have that strong of a faith, but at the same time I look back at the times I had MINOR setback in my life and realize how much I let it affect me and my relationship with God. I feel like the boy’s father in Mark 9 that begs Jesus to help him overcome his unbelief and lack of faith.

Lessons can be learned from any age group. The babies that I get to spend the majority of my day with are funny, cute, messy, and sometimes cranky. There is one who is such a funny baby. He is larger than the majority of the other babies and always wants to play with the smallest babies at the house, so ten to fifteen times a day I have to remind him to be “suave” (gentle) and “simpatico” (nice). When he plays with the other older babies at times they will begin to fuss with each other and sometimes they, like all nonverbal babies do, begin to hit. This particular baby believes that it is totally fine for him to hit or take a toy from another child, but as soon as that action is returned he is the first to run to me saying “pow pow” which means “spanking”.  I began to see how this cycle has mirrored my relationship with others, and in turn my relationship with God. I feel like my actions are always justifiable ( I am tired, that person should know better, I don’t have the time, I was just venting) but as soon as someone does something that hurts me I find myself running to God and demanding justice. I need to learn to be more forgiving to others and be more willing to extend the grace and patience towards them that I automatically (and presumptuously) assume others are willing to give to me.

I am so thankful to be here and continue to pray that God helps me to have a heart like His. I want to have eyes that see others as God sees them and that are open to see everything that He will teach me here. Please pray for the babies here because half of them have diarrhea.

A Week of Celebrations :)

The past week has been full of celebrations! One neat thing about living at Orphanage Emmanuel is the different cultures that I have gotten to learn from. At the Orphanage, about half of the staff and 1/4 of the volunteers are Danish, and this past Wednesday was the Danish Holiday of “Sankt Hans aften”. I had never heard about this holiday before and was interested to see what it was about. They explained that it was their tradition to make a witch out of craft supplies and have a bonfire and burn the witch. Due to some hard work from a few of the male volunteers, we had an awesome witch to burn! At the bonfire they also taught us how to make bread on a stick which is like a corn dog without the hot dog. It was good! We agreed to celebrate their Danish Holiday, and they are looking forward to celebrating the 4th of July with us! On Wednesday morning Jessica and I were also asked to help decorate for a Quinceanera for a girl named Merci. They showed us her beautiful blue dress and said that the colors of the party needed to match the dress. We spent Thursday and Friday looking up different craft ideas and making them and then all day Saturday transforming the gym. I was so thankful for all the parties that Allison has decorated so nicely for, and recycled a few of her decoration ideas! A lot of my time was spent tying blue material cut out into triangles together to make a banner. In total, it took 200 triangles to go around the gym! Jessica made an adorable banner that said “Quinceanera”. On Saturday I was SO thankful for all the other volunteers coming by during their only breaks of the day to help us put up the decorations. They all came by at JUST the right time and were so wonderful! The Quinceanera was really special to get to be a part of, and all of the girls who attended were so excited to be wearing their fancy dresses! They all wanted me to take their picture at the party!

I still am overwhelmed at times by the amount of love some of these kids show. Today my morning started by a 12 year old girl running up while I was still walking to her yard, hugging me, giving me a bracelet she had made, a note she had written, and a picture she had drawn.  It was so sweet! I do not know what her past was like, but her letter said multiple times that she loved God and that God loves me.  I am excited to see what this week will bring!

The Honest Cries Of Breaking Hearts, Are Better Than A Hallelujah.

This morning I had a conversation with one of the other volunteers here that really caught me off guard. At first I didn’t think about it too much because there is always so much going on, but once the day has wound down I find myself coming back to our conversation. In general, I can see both sides of any argument. When talking about “Pro- Life” versus “Pro- Choice” (Which is not what I want to happen now…) there is always the horrible “..but what if the girl was raped?” scenario. This morning the other volunteer told me that three of the babies in the baby house were born to mothers who were raped by their step-fathers and then kicked out of their houses. This fact is simply horrible. I do not know why this happened, but I DO know that God has brought three BEAUTIFUL, HAPPY, HEALTHY babies into the world. My heart has broken for the young teenage mothers here who have suffered abuse, but I hope someday to have half of the COURAGE that they have.  I pray that this never happens to anyone else, but today I was able to see how God can bring beauty from the messes humanity makes. 

We Can Carry On Dreaming

This past week, once again, went by quickly! I have continued doing meal times with the older girls, mornings with the babies, clinic shifts (listening to some Zee Avi), and now have also started helping out on Tuesday and Thursday evenings in the baby room getting them to go to sleep. This has become one of my favorite parts of the week! For the most part I get to hold sleepy babies and watch a Disney movie with them, put them in their pajamas, and then help one of the older Honduran girls get them to sleep J Basically it is a pajama party with 12 babies! (And baby pajamas are just too cute!) On Friday evenings I also take a shift sitting in the court yard at the teenage girl’s house and let the girls who work inside their house once they get off of work. This week was the first week of doing this, and it rained the WHOLE 2 hours!! It was a crazy Honduran storm! I have heard the saying “cleanliness is next to Godliness” and at Orphanage Emmanuel I am pretty sure they believe this to be actual doctrine. Volunteers and Staff members are constantly cleaning! Most floors here get mopped a minimum of three times daily and laundry is literally a never ending job! One of the staff members explained that with the rain and flies, that constant cleaning is a great preventative to getting sick and this makes sense! Yesterday the female volunteers tackled the two hour long job of deep cleaning the house (literally a couple of the other girls and I cleaned the showers with a toothbrush…) For all the times I complained about cleaning at Harding, I would like to take this moment and formally repent J

This week the book that I read was called Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo. In no way is it my place to comment if this is a work of fact or fiction, but regardless it is a really sweet story. I loved hearing Heaven explained through the eyes of a three year old! One of the cutest explanations was when Colton Burpo says that Jesus died on the cross because he wants everyone to get to meet his dad! Such a childlike faith that a lot of times is easy to miss!

One HUGE praise of this week is that Baby Maria is better and was able to leave the clinic and return back to her house!! She is eating (and pooping) normal once again! She is such a sweet baby and loves being held and played with, and it is great to see her in the mood for playing and laughing again!! Another thing that I really appreciate about Honduras is that Sundays really are a day of rest for the volunteers! It is so nice to go to sleep in (until 7:30 J) and then go to church, eat with the volunteers at the store, and then have some much needed down time! Saturday night I was tempted to open my letters for this week, but I made myself wait until breakfast on Sunday morning! This week I was able to read a note from John and Dana Dudley, and it included an awesome list of encouraging scriptures that was promptly taped to my mirror as a daily reminder! I also got to read the first of a few letters from my parents and that was great timing, with it being Father’s Day! My time here has given me a new appreciation to the importance of Fathers (and Mothers too!!!) and the vital role that they play in raising children! I was so blessed to have my parents! One verse that Orphanage Emmanuel emphasizes is Psalms 27:10 “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” Which brings hope for children who did not grow up with parents who took care of them and reminds them that God WILL take care of them! 

Freely You Have Received, Freely GIVE

This past week has gone by so quick! I can’t believe that I have been here 10 days already, only 109 left to go J There is always so much going on each day that it is hard to know where to begin! Towards the beginning of the week, I spent a lot of time shadowing my roommates Carol and Jessica and getting to see what they do at Orphanage Emmanuel. Towards the end of the week I got my permanent assignment! Each volunteer is assigned to a children’s house to eat meals with and help clean up after, and I was assigned to help with the older teenage girls. This is going to be somewhat of a challenge, because the girls here come from rough backgrounds and have a hard time trusting new people, understandably so. Also, one of the staff told Jessica that close to 60% of all the teenage girls are considered “special needs” for one reason or another.  After a few days some of them are starting to get used to me helping out and I am sure the longer I am with them the more comfortable they will be around me. Before I was assigned to their house I was eating meals with the 5-8 year old boys and I loved spending that time with them! They are so funny and love being hugged and held. My assignment during the day time is also to help out with the Infant and Toddler House, which I am really excited about! Throughout my time here there is a medical clinic that is primarily run by the volunteers. There are two nurses on staff who take care of diagnosing and prescribing medication, but the volunteers stay at the clinic 24/7 to help bathe and feed the kids and distribute their medication. I stayed a few nights last week with some of the other volunteers, and there is one sweet baby in the medical clinic that I have fallen in love with. Her name is Maria, and she is in the clinic because she has had diarrhea for over two weeks L Jessica and I talked with the nurse this morning, and he agreed to let us put her on a BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast) diet for a few days if we were able to supply the food. In hopes that he would allow us to change her diet, I had googled how to make homemade applesauce last night and took my first attempt at making it! It was a lot easier than I expected and it turned out good! There are also mashed bananas and bland oatmeal ready for her whenever she will eat them! Please pray that Maria will take well to this adjustment and her diarrhea will go away!!

Down time at Orphanage Emmanuel is rare, but it is always so relaxing when it is here! During my down time I have spent time on the farm (which is always an adventure), hung out with the other volunteers, and enjoyed reading in the hammock. I have finished Donald Miller’s To Own A Dragon and Ron Hall and Denver Moore’s Same Kind of Different As Me. Both are great reads! I loved the final thought  in Same Kind of Different As Me: “The truth about it is, whether we is rich or poor or something in between, this earth ain’t no final restin place. So in a way, we us all homeless- just workin our way towards home.”  It was a great reminder!

I continue to see God through the life (and love) of the children here, the other volunteers, and the staff. Every day I am blessed to be here! I also continue to be encouraged from my family and friends back home and I got to read a letter from “Mamma Lisa Day” on Sunday before church J Also on Sunday during church I was able to sing “Might to Save” in Spanish with hundreds of orphans, and that song will never be the same to me! I already loved this song so much, but it was incredible to sing it with children who no longer have parents to take care of them, some who were abused, singing about the One who loves them and was mighty to save them! Another day last week I was helping Carol at her office job find children and give them birthday gifts that their sponsor sent and then helping them write a thank you letter. I was amazed by one of the 14 year old boys here. I gave him his birthday present which included candy and some outdoor toys. This is probably one of the only gifts that he will get this year, and he insisted on sharing the candy with all the kids and volunteers at the table. As we were walking back past one of the playgrounds he noticed his friend who was mowing the lawn. Suddenly he stopped, opened his box, took out a whole bag of candy (not just one piece), and threw it over the fence to his friend. This boy probably has few things to call his own, and he was freely passing them out to everybody so they could also appreciate it. I was amazed! 

Open the Floodgates

If I didn’t love to read, my backpack would be lighter… this thought crossed my mind many times while traveling to Honduras. After being in two airports, waiting in four lines, and standing in two countries I began to question my packing choices. But now that I am here and my things are unpacked I am glad I brought my books.  I brought six books total in my carry on bag, two necessities: my Bible and a Spanish Dictionary, and four others: Blue Like Jazz and To Own A Dragon by Donald Miller, Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore and Parenting Through  Crisis by Barbra Coloroso. I am a little over 100 pages into To Own A Dragon and once again love Donald Miller’s perspective. I am also 30 pages in Parenting Through Crisis and wanted to share the Peace Prayer of Saint Francis that begins the book, “God, make me a channel of your PEACE. Where there is hatred, let me sow LOVE; Where there is injury, PARDON; Where the is doubt, FAITH; Where there is despair, HOPE; Where there is darkness, LIGHT; Where there is sadness, JOY. Grant  that I may not seek to be consoled as to CONSOLE; To be understood, as to UNDERSTAND; to be loved, as to LOVE; for it is in GIVING that we receive; In PARDONING that we are pardoned; In dying that we are born to ETERNAL LIFE.” So beautiful J

Now that you know what I am reading, I also want to tell you what I have been doing and how I have seen God. Before even leaving home I was blessed so much  by my family and friends who came to my send off dinner. During that dinner Allison also gave me a lot of cards that amazing people have sent with me to open weekly during my stay here. I got to open my first two today, and teared up while reading them. Today I read one from my mema and pepa and one from Lisa Burley. I know I will also be rereading them as needed during my time here. Another blessing that happened before leaving the states was that Taylor Krall was so amazing and let me stay the night with here, which is only 100X better than staying either a) alone in a hotel or b) the airport. Both my flights arrived safely to their destination and Julio was waiting with my name on a sign at the airport to pick me up, which had been the part of the trip I was the most nervous about! Julio then took me to the mall and when I went to purchase my phone they informed me that I had to have a Honduras ID to get a phone. Julio used his ID for me to get my phone, which is more than I could ever expect any stranger to do! I then was able to get an internet connector and met up with 4 other interns who are so nice and invited me to go to the movies with them before going back to the orphanage, which in the end cost me less because we were traveling as a group! This morning I went to church and the lesson was on forgiveness, which was a great reminder of God being the God of Mercy and Healing. After church another volunteer took me to see the toddler and infant house where there are 50+ children, and they are all so precious! I really am hoping to get to spend more time with them! After lunch we were walking back and one of the workers at Orphanage Emmanule invited us to join a two hour tour that he was giving another group about the Orphanage! On the tour three things the worker said really stood out to me: #1 “Live by faith, it really is the only way to live.” (He explained that all the construction that has ever been done on Emmanuels property has been begun without the funding, and each time God is faithful to provide funds, materials, and workers!) #2.”If you want to work for God, do not worry about not having money, He has more than enough.” #3. “Find your calling (where God can use you) before finding your mate. When you find what you can do for God, He will provide the right person."

“Malachi 3:10 shows God’s attitude towards blessings: “ Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.” I have enjoyed the little time that I have spent here, and look forward to finding out tomorrow what my assignments at the Orphanage will be J

A New Adventure

I decided that I wanted to get a blog running before I left to go to Honduras, and I have never written a blog before so I didn’t know where to begin. So, doing what I typically do when met with confusion, I turned to “google”. Things were going smoothly as I began to write my profile, chose a background, and upload a picture, but suddenly I was asked to choose a title for my blog. How do you decide a title for a blog?! After thinking through different options, texting an old roommate to see if the options I had narrowed it down to were too cheesy, and much deliberation I settled with the title “Small Things With Great Love.” Now I love quotes. Some of my favorites come from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Shane Claiborne, CS Lewis, and Rob Bell. These individuals see beauty, where others see only racism and pain. They see hope, where others see a dangerous inner city. The see change, where others only see “systems”. Most importantly, some of these individuals see God in everyone around them and teach others to do the same.  Mother Teresa is quoted as saying, “We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love.” I leave for Honduras in 8 days, and I hope that the time I spend in Honduras is filled with doing small things with great love.